kissofabrokenbutterfly:

randah-panda:

semperfindlay:

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

That was actually really beautiful

“i do”

(via gabdammit)

(via drowning-in-dry-land)

attention-bot:

(Source: alise-matilde, via notoneheartbeatdoiforget)

(via drawwhatyoudream)

littleredstriderhood:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time in my english class the teacher gave us a written assignment to basically explain how the book we were reading ended and this one kid just wrote “with a period” and he got full credit

my english teacher told a story once how he told the class to wrote a 5 paragraph essay on a brick and a student wrote “5 paragraph essay” and taped it to the brick and he got full credit and the teacher still has this brick

(via diamondalexus)

animalcrackersinmyblog:

OH MY GOD “MAKING THE BABY IS THE FUN PART” YOU SULTRY METAL VIXEN

(Source: endlessanimation, via gabdammit)

(Source: staypozitive, via mmenez)

(Source: fucking-brain-damage, via mmenez)

(via teenagerposts)

niniboo:

spencerkayne:

tea-is-for-tardis:

thAt GUY IN THE GREEN SHIRT WHO DIDN’T MAKE IT ALL THE WAY THOUGH

Reblog for the guy in green

😂😂😂

(Source: humoristics, via bahriah11)